From Darkness to Light:
One Woman's Story of Defeating Abuse
​and Living Life with Zest Again
​
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Identifying Abuse- Your Gut Doesn't Lie

12/25/2016

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WRITTEN BY JANE FREDRICKSON, AUTHOR & ABUSE SURVIVOR

Does your partner constantly belittle or put you down?
Do you have an uneasy feeling when your partner walks into the room?
Are you always walking on eggshells and feel you cannot be yourself?
If your partner doesn't get his or her way, will there be a huge temper tantrum with nasty name calling?
Are you afraid of your partner in any way?

The questions could go on and on.  I'm sure you've experience all or most of the above, plus so much more. I know this. I was there. I stayed in a verbally, emotionally, and psychologically damaging relationship for far too long before I realized things would only get worse.

If your gut is telling you something is not feeling right, you need to listen to it.  Easier said than done. I know. I was there.  It took dark circles under my eyes, tightness in my chest, zits all over my face, major stomach issues, and many other side effects to occur before I said enough was enough.

Take note as to how you felt prior to your relationship with your abuser.  Were you light and free?  Did you go out with friends and find laughter in even the small stuff?  How did you or do you currently feel in the abusive relationship?  Worthless, hopeless, unattractive, lifeless, and less of a person?  I felt all of those things.  Prior to my abuser, I was the confident, go-getter type of girl.  Cut ties with people who were weighing me down. Somehow when I got sucked into my ex-abusers's toxic web, my level of confidence plummeted fast.  Deep down, he was the one with low self esteem.  He needed to put me down to lift himself up.

Even though I didn't want to believe he was controlling, manipulative, and downright evil, I was living in a fake reality.  I wanted to believe I could change him.  What a joke!  My gut never lied.  Family, friends, and counselors knew the truth too.  They all said the same thing.  "Leave him now, because you can't change a person like that."

It took a few important phone calls for me to wake up.  You can read my entire story in my published memoir on Amazon.  It's titled Darkness to Light:  One Woman's Story of Defeating Abuse and Living Life with Zest Again by Jane Fredrickson.  Jane is my pen name by the way.  There was no way I would publish a book about my abusive experience using my real name.  Safety is priority.  I'm sure you can empathize with that.

If you want to check out the memoir, here is the Amazon link:  https://www.amazon.com/Darkness-Light-Womans-Defeating-Living/dp/153325205X

Thank you for reading this post!  Please share it if you feel it could benefit someone in need.

Go with your gut, 

Jane

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